Recently I was working with a student that had a really big break though and I thought you could learn a lot from his lesson.
We will call this student Jay to protect his identity. Jay is part of our Guarantee Program.
Under the Guarantee Program we work with you to accomplish your most important dating goal.
We call it the Guarantee Program because even if it takes us a year to accomplish your goal we guarantee you get there.
It is a very intense program and is designed for very serious clients.
Because Jay is in our Guarantee Program I have had a lot of opportunities to watch Jay in field.
As I was working with Jay I noticed he was having trouble developing proficiency with some of the basic skills.
When I questioned Jay about it he told me he was having trouble making things stick.
Intellectually Jay understood the concepts and could articulate how to perform the skills he was learning from the T.E.A.S.E. manual.
However in the field if Jay wasn’t consciously thinking about improving the skill he was working on he struggled to perform it.
Jay was frustrated because he could go out and perform the skill perfectly one week.
But the following week when he was learning a new skill he struggled with the old one. Despite this Jay was still making progress but his learning was slow.
Now I have gotten to know Jay really well sinse starting to work with him and I have to say he is one of the brightest guys I know.
I mean this is a guy that makes six figures a year in the stock market, owns rental property and has a high paying job.
Not only that but he came from a poor immigrant family, so he had to earn everything he owns.
I started to investigate the issue a little more so I could understand what was going on.
Upon delving into it and asking lots of questions I noticed a pattern develop.
Well Jay is a smart guy we all do things to ease pain from our past. However at some point we need to face these painful memories head on and sort them out in order to move on in life.
Jay’s coping strategy for painful feelings was to ignore them.
If fact he was really good at it.
He would often ignore all his feelings. But that was where the problem came in.
You see I have a saying I’m fond of….
Socializing is learned on an emotional level not an intellectual level. You CAN’T learn to socialize by sitting at home reading about it. You MUST take action go out and socialize with people.
So what do I mean by emotional learning?
First a little background on me to illustrate what I am saying here and bring this all together.
When I starting going out learning to seduce women I would approach women and start a conversation. About ten minutes into the conversation women would often say to me “Why are you so mad?”
I would come home later that night and think about why these women were asking me this question.
At first I was puzzled.
I started to explore my feelings to figure out IF I was truly angry with women.
As I explored this issue I realized I really love women.
But the answer was still unclear and didn’t immediately occur to me. Why were women asking if I was mad?
Then one evening while I was out at a bar a light went on.
I was having an amazing time laughing and talking to everyone, when it dawned on me.
Clearly I was having fun and that’s an important factor in being successful with women.
However what stood out to me was that I didn’t have any of my normal feelings of aggressive energy.
When I started out I approached learning seduction like I was learning a sport.
My attitude was go-out and be-aggressive. In the past this was an effective learning strategy for me.
Even though I was smiling and appeared friendly, once I started talking to women they would quickly sense my aggression and wrongly interpreted that I was angry.
I was sending out the wrong message and once I realized it I was able to change.
This Aha moment changed my game fast and it changed my understanding of communication.
I realized that thinking about and dealing with my emotions has a big impact on my relationships. This had never occurred to me in this way before.
And if you learn to think concisely about your feelings it can have a huge effect not just on your dating but all aspects of your daily life.
I highly recommend you learn this skill. This skill does take a little time and effort but with practice it is easy to learn.
You can begin learning by tracking and examining your feelings during all your interactions with people. This will train you to recognize all your positive and negative feelings.
I learned by keeping mental notes but if you have a hard time tracking and remembering you can always keep a small notepad with you and write things down as need be.
This helps for several reasons.
When you recognize negative feelings you can examine them closer to find out why. Then you can address any of your negative feelings and find out the cause.
This one habit will give you deep understanding of yourself and your motivations.
You will over came a lot of your insecurities and gain better control of your emotional state.
Not only that but when you learn to do this you will start noticing the emotional states of people around you.
You will be in tune with your emotions allowing you to read people better.
You will learn why people do and say curtain things, giving you the ability to predict people’s behavior just by noticing their emotional state.
You develop instincts about people and circumstances based on past experience because your emotions clue you in.
This will allow you to calibrate to any situation and you will always know the right thing to say and do at the right time.
This is when your game really goes to the next level.
So this is the reason why you can’t learn to seduce women by just studying pickup products from your computer. YOU MUST TO TAKE ACTION AND GO SOCIALIZE!
Now back to Jay
The reason Jay was unable to build on his learning and have the information stick was because he was ignoring his feelings.
When Jay realized what he was doing he began to focus on his emotions and deal with his insecurities.
His learning started to sink in and he started having Aha moments.
I cannot stress enough how powerful this habit is.
Once you start going out and honing your skills and concisely recognizing how you are feeling as your interactions are happening you will gain a keen awareness for what to do and say.
Then you will be able to do it without really thinking about it.
Your emotions take over and you don’t even have to think about what to do next.
You simply react
That emotional learning helps you develop the right attitudes, believes and behaviors to make you successful.
If you want to learn the information that will set you on the right track for your development come take a workshop. Let us help you reach your dating goals.
Best Of Luck,